Relationships

God Cried

Posted on by Jesse Walker

How do we (mortal humanity) obtain Intimacy with an all-powerful God? I surely do not have the definitive answer. But for me, it helps to see Christ as my father. I know how a father loves his children. Especially since I am a dad. I know how much I love my children. How I would do anything for them. And how it hurts when they rebel.

God is not a force. He is a person. Jesus the Son of God in John 14:8-10 when asked by Phillip to show them the Father replied, Philip if you have seen me, you have seen the Father. Do you not know that I am in the Father and He is in me. Jesus also said in John 5:19, I can only do what the Father is doing. In a true sense, what Jesus was saying is that me and my Father are a mirror image. In John chapter 7, when Jesus saw Mary and the Jews weeping over the death of Mary’s brother Lazarus, he groaned in the spirit and was troubled. And then in verse 35, it says “Jesus Wept”.  How can mortal man cause an Almighty God to weep? To be grieved in the spirit, and to be troubled. Because He cares. He desires the best for us, and he wants to be with us.

Then in 1 John 4:29, we learn that God loved us before we ever loved him. It’s as if he walked into the orphanage and picked me out as the best kid. I know he picked us all. But it’s personal, God picked me, and he picked you. He is your father and my father.

God is not seeking religiosity. What he is seeking is a relationship. The entire reason God created man was to be with him. To commune with him. God came looking for Adam. And he is looking for you as well. As unfathomable it is to me, God loves us and wants to be with us. He picked us to be on his team when others did not want us. It makes no earthly sense. We are full of flaws and wrinkles. Yet God loved us when we were unlovable. Will you join me today and thank God for selecting you to be a part of His family. I pray you will. And this is Jesse Walker with the Glenwood, Church of Christ.

Loving Your Neighbor as Yourself

Posted on by Bob Mathews

In our society today it is common for one to not want to get involved in other people’s problems, perhaps prompted by the misguided idea that we have no responsibility unto others in their time of need. The story of the good Samaritan, whether a parable or an account of actual events, illustrates otherwise (Luke 10:25-37).

Probably, most Christians today will not ask, “Who is my neighbor?,” in an effort to justify indifference to the needs of others. Yet, if we are inattentive to those needs when we have the opportunity and ability to address them (ref. Mt. 25:14-30), then we place ourselves in a similar context as that of the lawyer who sought to justify himself.

As illustrated in the story, everyone does not exercise a spirit of unselfish love and compassion for strangers. The very ones that would be expected to do so, in view of their religious standing, may deliberately avoid the responsibility. Such is a tragedy for the Lord’s church and an embarrassment and sin for those who exercise an uncaring heart.

The Samaritan’s context is compelling. He was of pagan stock who was cursed publicly in the synagogue. The Jews prayed that Samaritans would have no part in the resurrection of life and rejected them as proselytes. To eat their food was regarded by the Jew as eating the flesh of swine. The Jews thought it better to suffer than to accept the help of a Samaritan. They avoided them if at all possible. Yet, when the stranger was in need, the Samaritan assisted beyond measure. He extended a caring heart to the very ones who seemed to despise him greatly. He truly is our example of being a neighbor to those about us. May we direct our lives in a way that gives us the courage and aptitude to love the unlovely and to make a lasting impact in our community.

The Ideal Congregation (Pt. 8)

Posted on by Bob Mathews

The ideal congregation understands and appreciates the biblical work of elders.  The apostle Paul said, “Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honor, especially they who labour in the word and doctrine” (1 Tim. 5:17).  This admonition will go unfulfilled if we fail to both understand and appreciate the work of our elders.

The biblical work of elders weighs heavily upon men holding such responsibility.  The innate nature of the responsibility requires the eldership to function as overseers (bishops, Acts 20:28).  As overseers, they watch and protect the flock under their charge as they exercise administrative oversight over the affairs of the local congregation.  This body of overseers also functions as shepherds (pastors, 1 Pet. 2:25).  As shepherds, they care for the general spiritual well-being of each and every soul under their charge.  Therefore, when a body of qualified elders fulfills their godly responsibility in a qualitative manner, they truly function as the presbytery  (1 Tim. 4:14) and are deserving respect for their maturity of experience as they function as an eldership.

Elders continually face challenges  which are weighty and consequential.  These men, though perhaps of great spiritual stature, have feet of clay and will on occasion disappoint even the best of us.  May we have the courage to firmly stand by their side, assisting them in addressing any challenge that may come their way, and spiritually embrace these men and their work.  Thereby, we will lend them support when they need us most.  Let us, as men of old, lift up the arms of “Moses” as the spiritual battle is engaged.  By so doing, we may change the destiny of our people.  May the Lord richly bless our elders.

As we close this series, let me throw out one last medley of characteristics that mark the ideal congregation.

The ideal congregation understands and appreciates the work of deacons and preachers.  Biblical terminology portrays deacons as special servants and preachers as bold proclaimers of the Word of God.  Consistent therewith is the requirement that deacons first be proved (1 Tim. 3:10) and for preachers to “Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine” (2 Tim. 4:2, KJV).

The ideal congregation maintains a clear distinction from denominationalism and receives godly correction.  The first century church in Corinth was plagued by division (1 Cor. 1-4) and modern-day denominationalism has no biblical authority for its existence, varied doctrines, flawed worship, and misguided fellowship (Col. 3:17).  Separation must be maintained between the Lord’s body and false religion (2 Cor. 6:17).  Furthermore, godly correction should be well-received and valued as such as administered in a godly manner for godly purposes (1 Cor. 5; 2 Cor. 2:5-8).  As God’s children, we are in need of his chastening (Heb.12:5ff).

The ideal congregation respects the individual judgments of its members in matters outside the scope of the system of faith (Rom. 14).  Opinions and personality differences should not be divisive.  The apostle Paul made the point well when he said, “Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind” (Rom.14:5b).

In summary of all that has been said in this series, the ideal congregation studies, applies, and lives by the Word of God.  May the Lord bless our people as we so do!

The Ideal Congregation (Pt. 7)

Posted on by Bob Mathews

The ideal congregation maintains faithfulness in doctrine, worship, and life.  John, generally regarded as the apostle of love, commented forcefully upon each of these.

Regarding doctrine, he said, “Anyone who goes too far and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God” (2 John 1:9a).  The one who progresses beyond the authoritative and scriptural boundary line of the inspired Word of God and thereby no longer resides in the teaching whose origin is Christ — this is the very one whose fellowship and unity with God, the Father, has been broken.

Regarding worship, John said, “God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth” (John 4:24).  Accordingly, our worship of God, the Father, must be in the proper attitude (in spirit) and in harmony with revealed truth (in truth).  Worship in truth but not in spirit degrades into mere ceremonialism and formalism while worship in spirit but not in truth degrades into mere emotionalism.

Regarding life, John said, “Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life” (Rev. 2:10b).  If we truly expect everlasting spiritual life as a crown, then may our faithfulness in life be unto death, that is, until we die and be that which, if necessary, brings about our untimely death.

Yes, the people of God maintain faithfulness in doctrine, worship, and life.  To do otherwise constitutes a course which robs us of our present spiritual security and our future spiritual inheritance.  May we always have the courage to seek out the Lord’s will in all matters wherein he has spoken and the fortitude to live and teach accordingly.

The ideal congregation concerns itself with the physical and spiritual needs of others.  The apostle Paul said, “So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of faith” (Gal. 6:10).  We are thus commended to extend acts of moral excellence to the mass of society, with a special obligation unto members of the Lord‘s church (ref. 1 Tim. 3:15).  In so doing, let us be wise to avoid the extreme of failing to be good stewards of our possessions (1 Cor. 4:2) as we actively employ a benevolent spirit both individually and congregationally.  May the people in our community know us as a giving, caring people, and may they witness this in our daily life.

Someone once said, “People do not care how much we know until they know how much we care.”  This old proverb has been confirmed in church growth studies and in everyday life.  Genuine church growth is rooted in great sacrificial love for others.  The heavenly Father has set the example for us (John 3:16; Eph. 5:1).  Therefore, as we evidence our concern for the physical well-being of our friends, neighbors, and brethren, let us also “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation” (Mark 16:15) and “Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness;” (Gal. 6:1).  May we not only be spiritually-minded as a child of God (ref. Rom. 8:6) but may we also so employ this righteous disposition so that others who hunger and thirst after righteousness will be truly filled (ref. Matt. 5:6) because we dared to exercise this spirit in our personal relationship with them.  May the Lord bless each of us this week as we serve our Risen Savior.

The Ideal Congregation (Pt. 6)

Posted on by Bob Mathews

The ideal congregation works well with others and strives to deepen godly fellowship with other faithful though imperfect members.  Paul’s working relationship with the Philippians is set in a positive light and provides an example for us (Philippians 4:3).  John expressed interest in promoting godly fellowship as he addressed first century Christians (1 John 1:3).

Working well with others contributes to deeper and stronger fellowship among faithful children of God.  Those who have achieved a quality working relationship with their co-workers do not place an emphasis upon personal power, prestige, influence, or position.  Generally, their personal needs become secondary to the welfare of the body of Christ.  Rather, these seek the position and work for which they are best suited in the local congregation (1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12, Matthew 25:14-30).  Through such efforts fellowship is promoted and qualitatively impacted.

A further strengthening of our fellowship may also be achieved through joint activities designed to provide opportunities to both understand and appreciate one another.  Additionally, by seeking a common understanding of spiritual issues and developing a kindred spirit and like-values, we may very well avoid spiritual pitfalls which have the capacity to challenge the strength and quality of our fellowship.  May we have the courage to invest much labor in the maintenance and improvement of our godly fellowship.

The ideal congregation lives peaceably with others.  The apostle Paul, in admonishing Christians in Rome, said,  “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men” (Romans 12:18).  Though the attitudes and actions of others may impact our personal contexts unfavorably, we yet have obligation based on divine instruction to employ our full capacity to promote peaceful co-existence among others, including those who may not appreciate us personally.

In living peacefully among all men, may we see the wisdom in never allowing any judgmental issue to generate division, especially in the lord’s church (Romans 14).  Some have expressed the fear that we may , on the one hand, intellectually and theologically recognize the wisdom and righteousness of this course while, on the other hand, we fail to regularly practice that which we know to be right in these matters.  May we as well never allow personal pride to hamper relationships in our search for peaceful co-existence.  Though peace is a wonderful and biblical goal to fervently pursue, may our allegiance to the word of God never be sacrificed in the pursuit of peace.  If we cannot maintain peace with men, though seeking it, let us maintain reconciliation and peace with God through faithfulness unto His Word.  After all is said and done, peace with all men will be within our reach when the mass of society, including faithful Christians, truly commits themselves to faithful Christian conduct.  May the Lord bless us in our search for peace.

The Ideal Congregation (Pt. 5)

Posted on by Bob Mathews

The ideal congregation responds in a positive manner to the plans of its leadership, especially when a congregation is led by an appointed godly eldership.  Christians were exhorted to “obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: For they watch for your souls, as they that must give account…” (Heb. 13:17).  On the one hand, we must obey our elders both in matters of faith and matters of judgment as such concerns the work and well-being of the local congregation.  On the other hand, may our elders have the courage and vision to plan the work of the congregation so that unity, truth, and the mission of the church are supported and fulfilled.

To achieve and maintain the above aspirations, we as members should establish and nurture a trusting, respectful relationship with our elders.  The effort required to do so must be reciprocal, all parties making their best effort to work well together.  Additionally, may we respond to leadership plans by seeking out an active role in the actual implementation of the work.  If improvements are needed or desired in our cooperative efforts, may we employ well-timed constructive criticism whose only goal is to assist in improving our work.  In this manner we will bring a greater measure of glory to both the Father and the church as we struggle together to do the work of the Lord.

The ideal congregation practices liberality in both attitude and action, especially as such relates to the planning, organization and implementation of individual or congregational spiritual labors.  The apostle Paul, in commending liberality, encouraged the brethren in Corinth to sow bountifully (2 Cor. 9:6) and to “ lay by him in store as God hath prospered him“ (1 Cor. 16:2).  He set before the congregation the sacrificial liberality of the Macedonians to motivate them unto similar action (2 Cor. 8:1-7).

Liberality may be rightfully exercised in contexts that may not involve financial interests and be equally important and impacting.  May we as the people of God better learn the art of liberality in mercy (Col. 3:12) and compassion (Matt. 18:21-35), thereby relieving others’ affliction as prompted by a heart that is truly touched by their distress.  May we better develop loving concern for all men (Rom. 13:8) so that we better imitate our heavenly Father (Eph. 5:1; John 3:16).  May we exercise liberality in the commitment and use of both our time and our talents in the work of the Lord (Matt. 25:14-30).  Such liberality is wisely exercised in all good works that the Father demands of us individually.  In order to successfully attain the worthy goal of liberality, may we be as the Macedonians who first gave themselves unto the Lord (2 Cor. 8:5).  Only then may we prosper as we never have before.

The Ideal Congregation (Pt. 4)

Posted on by Bob Mathews

The ideal congregation is receptive to visitors and outsiders. A classic example of failure in being receptive to outsiders is recorded in Galatians 2:11-14. It says, “But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. For prior to the coming of certain men from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles; but when they came, he began to withdraw and hold himself aloof, rearing the party of the circumcision. The rest of the Jews joined him in hypocrisy, with the result that even Barnabas was carried away by their hypocrisy. But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas in the presence of all, “If you, being a Jew, live like the Gentiles and not like the Jews, how is it that you compel the Gentiles to live like Jews?”” Paul withstood Peter to the face because he withdrew and separated himself from those who differed ethnically. Fear motivated Peter to so conduct himself and his example led others to follow in his steps. A personal error began to affect others in the congregation.

Our receptivity to outsiders, whether they differ ethnically or in some other meaningful manner, will be enhanced as friendliness is the norm rather than the exception. A spirit of friendliness should be extended from each member to each and every individual who graces our assemblies with their presence and support. As we set various prejudices aside (Acts 10:34-35), our receptivity to outsiders will be further developed. Additionally, may we realize the value in actively seeking to establish relationships beyond the bounds of clannishness and personal cliques so that we create multiple opportunities to broaden our field of acquaintances and friends, thereby opening ourselves to growth in our reception of outsiders. May we value each soul as highly as our Lord who freely died for all.

The ideal membership sets an example for others in Christian living.  The apostle Paul exhorted the evangelist Timothy to “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers…” (1 Tim. 4:12a).  Paul’s exhortation also detailed general and specific areas wherein our example should be developed, including our speech, manner of life, love, spirit, faith, and purity (1 Tim. 4:12b).  Since our Lord is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34-35), each individual Christian must strive to follow the Pauline exhortation to which reference was made above.

As we set an example for others in Christian living, we should influence our families unto greater and better service to God (Eph. 6:1-4). The impact of such successful efforts may not be measured except in eternity. Included in our efforts to spiritually impact our families should be wise and timely efforts to lead our spouse to be a faithful Christian. Though difficult, the potential good is certainly worth our investment of time, energy, and concern. Additionally, may we also gain the courage to influence other Christians to improve their service in the kingdom of God (1 Cor. 11:1). By efforts such as these we may perhaps become a Nehemiah in our own time!

Good Companions

Posted on by Bob Mathews

Those with whom we share close and intimate relationships, our companions in this life, are important to each of us.  We share with them the heights of our joy and the depths of our sorrow.  With confidence we entrust them with intimate details of our on-going struggles of life.  They are permitted to see us when we are at our weakest and most vulnerable moments. We depend upon them to provide comfort and consolation when we fail ourselves or when others fail us.  They see us when we are hurt and when we are sorely disappointed in self as we hurt others. Simply put, they see us in the full bloom of imperfect humanity.  Accordingly, those whom we choose as companions, ones being given the innermost seat close to our minds and hearts, should surely be selected carefully.  The choices we make concerning our companions may invite either rich blessings or abundant trials.

The apostle Paul spoke well when he said, “Evil companionships corrupt good morals” (1 Cor. 15:33, ASV).  He was wisely guided when he implored us not to be deceived about these matters.  Yes, there are some close associations that we establish in this life which are truly reprehensible as measured morally. We need to more wisely determine which associations are “evil” and which are good.  Whether we be young or old, the principle stated by Paul in 1 Cor. 15:33 applies to us individually and is an important factor in determining our way in life.  I trust that your life’s journey will be sweetened by companions who are worthy of the position they hold in your life.  May life’s blessings be multiplied as you are accompanied by good companions who meet the standards of the Lord.

A touching example of good companionship between friends is the intimate friendship between David, who eventually served as king of Israel, and Jonathan, the son of King Saul.  This valued relationship was established as Jonathan witnessed his father’s jealousy of David which led King Saul to seek the life of the young David.  He subsequently fled as Jonathan courageously warned him of the impending danger to his life.

A review of this friendship reveals a remarkable set of characteristics.  The record affirms that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David.  Spiritually, they were chained together as they both trusted in God and one another.  The great measure of Jonathan’s love for David is evident as he loved David as his own soul, allowing his home to become the home of David, and establishing a covenant between them.

Jonathan extended to David great honor, though Jonathan was the son of the reigning monarch.  Jonathan gave to David his personal clothing, thus symbolically surrendering the throne to David.  Though he was commanded to kill David, Jonathan never obeyed his father in this matter.  He refused to follow such an evil course because of his own personal upstanding character and because of the great delight that he experienced in his relationship with the young David. Rather than obey his wicked father, Jonathan betrayed his father’s plot to kill him. The companionship that existed between David and Jonathan is our example today.  May we so choose our friends and companions that we will be inclined to draw ever close to them in a productive, meaningful, and fulfilling relationship which evidences the righteousness of the Father in heaven.

A further review of the friendship between Jonathan and David is noteworthy.  Not only did Jonathan betray his father’s plot to kill David, he also encouraged David to hide from his father. Both in spirit and in action Jonathan was faithful to the good companionship existing between him and David, even to the extent that he would undermine King Saul’s wicked plans.  This is further evidenced as Jonathan promised to inform David of his private discussions with King Saul about him.

Jonathan not only worked directly with David on his behalf but he also sought to influence his father concerning David.  Jonathan courageously spoke well of David to the king, presenting David as innocent and as one who treated King Saul very well.  This stands in contrast to Jonathan’s description of his father’s actions as sinful and as one who acted without just cause toward David.  Jonathan’s influence was effective in assisting David and King Saul to restore their relationship. Though the good relationship between David and the king would not endure, Jonathan continued to hold David’s trust, as David fled to Jonathan to learn why Saul sought his life.  Jonathan’s love for his friend endured.  He viewed David graciously, pledging to do anything that David wanted, even to reveal his father’s true intent toward David under penalty of death.  He promised to send David away from his father and desired the Lord to be with him.  As they parted from one another, they kissed and wept.  Their friendship and companionship, marked with trust, loyalty, sacrifice, and commitment, endured through the challenges of life.  In response to the death of Jonathan, David said, “I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.”  If only all our companionships were so tender and precious.

The Noticer

Posted on by Bob Mathews

That’s the title of a book I read several years ago. It’s actually a fairly short book, but with other things stealing my time, it took me a while to finish it.

…a grateful perspective brings happiness and abundance into a person’s life.

Part fiction, part nonfiction, it’s taken a good bit from the experiences of the author, who lost both parents as a teenager and was homeless — living beneath a pier. The Noticer is a man known simply as “Jones”. It’s not really correct to say Jones changed the author’s life. More correct would be to say Jones caused the author to change his outlook on everyday situations, and that’s what changed his life.

Here’s one of Jones’ tidbits:

“Here for you, young man, is a law of the universe—one of many, to be sure, but one that is especially applicable to your life at present. Remember, whatever you focus upon, increases.”

Jones explains:

“When you focus on the things you need, you’ll find those needs increasing. If you concentrate your thoughts on what you don’t have, you will soon be concentrating on other things that you had forgotten you don’t have—and feel worse! If you set your mind on loss, you are more likely to lose…But a grateful perspective brings happiness and abundance into a person’s life.”

One way Jones causes us to think about interpersonal relationships is to explain the “four major dialects that we use to convey and feel loved.” Here are the four:

  • Spoken words of approval
  • Favors and deeds
  • Personal contact
  • Quality time

I’ll just pass those along without comment other than that we all feel loved in different ways. If we limit the way we convey love to only the way we most feel loved, we’ll fail much of the time.

This book is very biblical, but it’s not based on scripture; it’s based on experience. It’s a book that would be at home on any Christian’s bookshelf, but don’t let it spend too much time there; read it first, share it, and if you’re lucky enough to get it back, read it again. Then put it on your bookshelf!

The Noticer, © 2009 by Andy Andrews. Thomas Nelson Publishers, Inc.
Video of the author’s interview with Good Morning America’s Robin Roberts

Domino Effect

Posted on by Bob Mathews

The best way to avoid a pattern of negative choices is to seek wisdom from God to make good choices from the start. That’s the ultimate way to live as a follower of Jesus—fueling our daily decisions with God’s wisdom! That can lead to a positive domino effect, where one good choice leads to another good choice—and on and on it goes. And thankfully, because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we can be forgiven and set back upright again even when we do make a poor choice.

Proverbs 3:5-8 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all you ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in our own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body And refreshment to your bones.”

Jesus cares about your decisions. Think of some choices you made today or this week, do you feel good about those choices? Are there some choices you would like to go back in time to change? In the passage we read, we’re warned to not rely on our own understanding. Why is that so hard to do? Because we like to be in control.

It’s true that God is in charge of everything, but he cares deeply about us and about all the little choices we make in everyday life. Jesus has the wisdom we need to make solid choices, and he wants to give that wisdom to us!

Your choices affect other people. I’m sure that all of you can remember a choice someone else made that affected you, either positively or negatively. God designed us to live life together, not alone. What’s one wise choice you’ve made that’s improved your relationships with other people?

Most of us know that relationships—with friends, family, colleagues, classmates, teammates—are really important. But sometimes we forget how much better those relationships could be if we sought wisdom from Jesus. The next time you’re about to make a choice that you know will affect someone else, ask Jesus to help you make the right decision. This Scripture says he’ll show you the right path to take.

Your choices either build up or tear down your reputation. Think about this: You can quickly gain a bad reputation because of one bad choice, and then it can take a long time to get rid of that bad reputation. Like it or not, our choices cause people to see us in a certain way. As Christians, we bear the name of Jesus Christ. We can make choices that honor him and reflect him.

Listen to this statement: “It can take five minutes to gain a bad reputation and a year to lose that bad reputation.” Do you know anyone in your life that has proven this statement to be true? If so, what can you learn from that person’s situation? Not trying to say we have to be perfect, but simply trying every day to be better.

What’s one choice you can start with today to create a positive domino effect in your relationship with the Lord?